Compassion is the perfect filtering criterion.
Meaning: if there is compassion in you — come, join our table.
And if there is no compassion in you — away with you, as far as possible.
Everyone misses the point about compassion, because everyone stresses its emotional side: identifying with another person's pain.
Real, deep compassion has a practical, behavioral side too.
Empathy for someone's suffering is nice — but what does it actually do for them?
Here's a cosmic newsflash: when the person in front of you is suffering, they may need something. And a comforting hug is not always enough.
True, people sometimes need conversation, listening, interest, emotional support. But sometimes they need food, a ride, practical knowledge, or simply someone to help carry the heavy bags from there to here.
Compassion is a two-stage diagnostic task:
First — recognize that the person is suffering.
Second — find out what they need.
If you can provide it, provide it. (In most cases you can. It rarely demands special effort. Just a momentary surrender of comfort. Usually.)
If you can't — admit it to their face, and search together for someone who can.
If you can and don't want to — go to hell.
And if you exploit someone who came asking for compassion — go to hell sevenfold. That is the true human bottom.
One final kicking remark: a person who requests compassion serially and professionally is dangerous. And a person who demands compassion in the name of other people's suffering, appointing himself their spokesman while his own life is soaked in cream and comfort — that person is very dangerous.
That's it. Filter accordingly.