Loneliness is a determined, skilled, dangerous dealer.
And like every dealer, it has exactly one goal — to keep its customers weak, dependent, hungry for more, addicted.
And alone.
A person who judges themselves through the lens of loneliness believes a distorted, partial picture of who they are — and lets a caricature demolish all the wonderful things they could be.
Believing a lie is believing a lie is believing a lie. In this case: a psychological lie you tell yourself.
The dealer has injected a triple poison into your veins. Three lies every lonely person knows far too well. Check it out:
1. "This is never going to change. I will always be alone."
Why is this nonsense? Because the human situation is complex and dynamic, and none of us can truly predict ourselves inside a different future. We tend to accept the here-and-now as the only version of the truth — and that is folly. Psychological truth is a dynamic thing. What was true in January is not necessarily true in September.
2. "Anyone who truly gets to know me won't love me."
Why is this nonsense? Because the parts that make you remarkable — the person genuinely worth waking up next to — did not die. They are dormant right now. Our self is conflicted and ambivalent; we are built out of contradictions. The lonely version of you is hostile, desperate, cynical, and bristling with defensive spikes. That is emphatically not all you are.
3. "You're fine as you are. You don't need to change."
Why is this nonsense? Tell me — have you ever met a dealer who, when a shaking customer came begging for a dose, said: "Enough, friend. Pull yourself together. It's time to get clean"? Didn't think so. In the same breath, the chorus of friends humming "you're perfect as you are," "it's their problem, not yours" — proves mainly that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You are, most likely, doing something wrong, and there is no shame in a psychological housecheck. Whoever strokes you automatically, flooding you with kilograms of support and zero grams of judgment, is not helping you. They are keeping you addicted — to escaping responsibility and blaming the surroundings.
Don't walk psychological roads that lead nowhere.
Don't believe your loneliness.