So then.
Five red heart emoji — that is not it.
Legend. You're the best. So moving. Also not it.
I know everybody preaches at you that giving praise matters, and rightly so. But make an effort.
Why have I gone at you first thing? Let us start from the beginning.
Our daily conduct in the world always involves mixing with other people. In fact, playing the philosopher for a moment, it is not absurd to claim that our lives are the sum of our interactions with other people, and I do not much mind whether that is online or in the real world.
And here comes the first barrier we have to pass in our contact with another person.
Our basic attitude to people, particularly new people, is suspicious and cautious. That is not your fault. Evolution built you that way. The first and unconscious question passing through our heads whenever we encounter somebody we do not know is: is he dangerous?
Fortunately, in the overwhelming majority of cases, the answer is no.
But then we are stuck. Suppose we have established that he is not a violent monster. Fine. What now?
The natural and spontaneous move for most people is to do nothing.
Which is why praise is such a powerful instrument — it is the cheapest available way of signalling that you are not a threat and that you have been paying attention.
But the emoji does not do that, and neither does the generic superlative, because neither of them demonstrates attention. They are a receipt for having seen something.
Proper praise names a specific thing, and ideally a thing the person worked at rather than a thing they are. Not: you're brilliant. Rather: the way you handled that question at the end, when you admitted you did not know — that was the strongest part.
The difference costs you fifteen seconds of thought, and it is the difference between a compliment somebody enjoys and one they remember for a decade.