You're complicating things for no reason.
Believe me: at least half the couple stories I hear in the clinic could have gone so much better, and so much happier, if people stopped playing clever — and stopped guarding their ego instead of guarding their chance at love.
And I won't be gentle just because it's cold outside: it's foolish, you're being foolish (unconsciously), you are doing damage, and it's the worst kind of suffering — unnecessary suffering.