Let me take this old cliché down from my psychology shelf, dust it off thoroughly, and place it in the middle of the feed:
Our romantic relationships re-stage our earliest relationships with our parents.
If I had to imagine your reactions to that ancient equation, I'd bet a third of you sigh in relief, a third mutter "nonsense" on reflex, and a third grab your heads and go pale.
No pressure. I'm about to explain — but first, a calming siren: psychological patterns are never absolutely true. They tend to come true. Usually. With high probability. There are always exceptions, and there is always the possibility of repair.