Busy morning. Everyone's running errands. No time for long reads — so today, we compress.
Bitterness is one of the most dangerous psychological postures there is: a pit you — and your descendants — really do not want to fall into.
So, as a public service, ten thoughts about the monster. Do with them as you please.
1. Bitterness that fuses with wit is called "cynicism." It's considered a sexy trait in the short run — and a killer of desire and relationships in the long run.
2. The bitter person is right about one thing: people really are imperfect and full of malfunctions. His error is believing that his mission on earth is to point the malfunctions out. Constantly.
3. One of the most reliable identifying marks of a bitter person is the sentence: "All I did was say what I think! What do you want, for me to keep quiet?" (In most cases, incidentally, the answer to that question is: "Yes!")
4. The bitter person's permanent mental activity is comparison — between the current mess and the ideal that ought to exist.
5. The bitter person's partner committed one sin: failing to be that ideal.
6. Despite point 5, the bitter person won't leave — he still needs warmth and love. But he despises himself for being too weak to go.
7. There is a clear link between bitterness and victimhood: the bitter person is razor-sharp at detecting injustices. (And a perfect fool at noticing the good and wonderful things in his life, which are not self-evident.)
8. In the job market, bitter people thrive in roles that require constantly auditing people and data and flagging failures and inaccuracies. (A thousand apologies to my accountant.)
9. Aside from one woman somewhere far away, nobody on earth enjoys sleeping with a bitter person.
10. And one positive note to close: research keeps finding that one of the strongest markers of mentally healthy, happy people is the habit of feeling grateful — bitterness's exact opposite.
Good morning. Go say something kind to someone.
finally, one for the road:
carve this one on your chest: life will never ever be perfect. your mission is to hit the spot that's good enough and keep it